"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
