life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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