The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
