lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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