I want to stick my p in your. b.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
