My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
