drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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