I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
