Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
