i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
