In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
