Dual....:-)
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
