There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
