I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
