There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
