I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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