So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
