I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
