Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
