I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
