Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
