Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
