So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
