there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
