woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Help me help you realize you are a moron
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
