I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
