How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
