You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
