i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
