He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
