O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
