i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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