Umm I'm too high to move.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
