Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
