I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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