We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
