my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
