TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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