Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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