Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
