I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
