How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
