Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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