either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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