Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
