I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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