wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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