guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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