dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
