Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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