the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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