Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
